FAT-WHYME

The Top Ten Lies Blockbuster Video tells their customers

Written by the Employment scale

I worked for Blockbuster Video Party more than six months. I was used in several different stores as a shift supervisor, and has faced many, many different types of customers. Although the work was criminally easy at times I came to despise the work, society and consumers who have donated money.

More a way of exorcising the demons in my video rental past, I now present my completely unbiased and honest ten is totally Blockbuster Video tells their customers.

10. "Sorry, I can not"

If you tell an employee of Blockbuster to something in your credit account or changing your payment method after it has already been committed or any number of irritating calls special we could do to an employee, it is most likely to say you're sorry, but the system will not allow it.

This is false.

While Blockbuster continues to use a POS system of the computer that is literally more than twenty years (in fact, very wisely, "POS"), still BB allows the employee to an average of almost everything you could possibly need to do. The reason for their refusal to comply with your request is relatively simple: it is personal anger against stupidity or dishonesty (maintenance of a video game for six days and then come back and demanding a refund because he was not a manual) and believes it should be positive.

No matter what your problem is, technically BB Secretary average can solve – but is more complicated, unless he or she wanted. In theory, denying any kind of customer service is a no-no in the world of customer service, but as a means of computer BB looks like a desktop for the average hacker (blue screens, no mouse buttons that make noise when they are satisfactorily strong punch), an employee of Blockbuster is easily able to blame everything that can not or will not do in the computer system. Hopefully the average consumer does not realize the full scope of what the POS system can do, and will have no choice but to accept the claim that the employee is the team, not the employee, which is useless – it leads directly to the number 9.

9. "The teams lock five minutes before closing time – we can not do anything"

I've heard this lie of the best manager I worked with – a man with a vanity license plate reading "wookie" and a son with the name "Vader." Customers hated even more than me, and used over the lie as a sure way to end the night early. It is, of course, crap, but it is a very good lie.

Promising that computers automatically locks sounds pretty absurd to be true, and techniques sufficient to deter the ignorant masses to question more. In addition, customers forced into action: if you do not hurry the fuck up and find a movie that will suit what your mood at 1:00 in the morning, the system stops and get nothing. Customers leave faster, the store closes early (which prevents possible flights last minute), and the staff go home early. Found, in general, contributes to a win-win-win situation.

8. "Sorry, the bathrooms are broken"

Seriously, it is not. The bathrooms are filthy, disused and probably cured in several layers of body fluids, but is still technically functional. The reason staff BB lock their bathrooms and inform customers the pipe is broken because the bathroom is the only place in all the store where the staff can not you see.

Because of this, Toilets are the ideal place to steal shit: During my time at Blockbuster, thieves often caught in DVD or video game equipment, stuffed them in his pants, and went into the bathroom. Inside, you literally had all the time I wanted to remove the bands and numerous security magnetic locks placed in each of the goods.

A female customer in particular, took her baby on the toilet and removed the packet from an Xbox 360, a new copy Gridiron Gang on DVD, and a copy of InStyle before completing the three points in the bag. All work on the night shift, obviously knew what she had done, but were powerless to stop its appreciation to lie number seven:

7. "Theft is bad"

Al Like many other corporate chains (Target and Wal-Mart comes to mind) seem to despise Blockbuster robbery in all its forms, while doing virtually nothing much to stop.

If DVD eighteen things, Grand Theft Auto strategy guide, and a box of red grapes in a backpack and out, congratulations – you just committed the perfect crime. Even if the metal detector out of the door of your departure, you're okay. Even if the security camera captured her face, you're okay. Although DVDs are literally biting his feet and bib size, and even if every step you take is interrupted by high, repeatedly battling the box, plastic box, plastic and even if the employee comes to you personally and asked to see all the elements that lead to leave the store, you can always spend the rest of the night of the arrest without looking stolen copy of Red Dawn.

Blockbuster employees are trained not to arrest, charge or prosecute the criminals, no matter what. This is partly for legal reasons (In case of a Blockbuster employee charged with stealing a thief according to company policy and the robber shoots him, Blockbuster be responsible), but partly because Blockbuster does not want to waste time with you in every battle pickpocket two bits to the United States. In the same way that game companies tend not to take action against the pirates, who will ignore the theft of Blockbuster. Literally, the only case where an employee Blockbuster to take action against a thief is whether the thief admits trying to steal something. The BB system flight response literally punishes honest – if someone admits to having stolen something, the employee should immediately call the police and wait until Upon arrival the thief, when he said a thief will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.

Yes, fuck you learn to confess apology.

6. "Sorry, we do not have this movie – I'll call the shop and see if they have other"

No one on the other line, dude. Yes I saw the phone number from another store, and what you've seen me make the numbers, but actually just called my cell phone. You might think I'm talking about with another employee over Blockbuster at 19th Avenue and Union Hills, but talked about the sound of my voice, which sometimes breaks to enhance the realism before disappointed sigh, hang up, and saying, "No, guess not. Sorry."

If you want to make a better film than it really is likely to be established but it does not, so I did not.

5. "Yes, we're big fans of the movie"

While in the service under the Blockbuster Corporation, who have worked at least six different stores in the Phoenix metropolitan area. And in all my time, no manager has been implemented in of the tent that had been one of the following films:

"City of God

-Fight Club

"The Wild Bunch

-Lo the wind

"Citizen Kane

-Casablanca

"SHIT THE GODFATHER

The first day, my store manager asked me what my favorite movie is. After answering, "Blade Runner" and looking ahead to misunderstanding, I asked him what his favorite movie. She replied: "Rumor Has It."

In retrospect, I had to get out.

When asked later why I had not seen all the movies of historical or artistic She uses these exact words:

"Attendees at the gas station is not necessary to know how to work oil rig, right? "

No, but you need to know the difference between unleaded petrol and diesel cursed. Jesus.

4. "No, I will not write things to say and then republish it on the Internet"

"Did you like Terminator 3?" An employee-
"Uh, maybe if I had never seen Terminator 1 and 2." -Me
"What?" You didn't-"
"We're talking Comparison of an action movie worthy of two of the best action movies ever made. "
"What is my movie action star? This is a good question, I've never thought of that. "
? I did not ask "
"Probably Blade 2."
"?"

"Is it possible to include Road House 2, although I have not seen the original?" A customer-

"Are you from Pakistan?" – In 50 years, the customer bald with glasses and a smile-fart
"I have to do?" -Me
"The ethnic membership, Are you in Pakistan? "
"Uh, more or less."
"Oh, what I thought. Have you ever thought about modeling?
"Lo."
"You has a real face to it. "
T
"Yes, my son, what he does. For a long time out. You have one side of it, I can tell. "
"Uh, if you need anything, let me"
"And not have to be gay to do so, either."
"IFYOUNEEDANYTHINGELSEJUSTLETMEKNOW"

"Is this Final Fantasy Seven? The one on the V, and the two lines? An employee-

3. "I do not have to pay later"

Perhaps the biggest movement in the history of marketing for Blockbuster was the elimination of late fees call. Although technically no service charge referred to "charge" at any Blockbuster store on the planet, there are many other Small variations in costs and prices to compensate.

First, the rent themselves are now more expensive than ever in Arizona, a film rental costs $ 5 and a game rental costs 9. In states like California or New York, I suppose a sort of barter system used firstborn.

Second, there is a charge if you keep a movie date last week suggested due: a $ 1.25 is a new so-called "replacement, but trust me – it is a late fee. There is nothing in the process of returning Fall movie night in the shops costs, even the small sum of money if funding is $ 1.25 "restocking" I wonder where it goes. I certainly do not see it.

Third, the commitment to late fees, if that if you keep a movie for one month beyond its expiration date has suggested, you should buy it. This is probably more reasonable policy, no late fees, and, therefore, often argued against debtors who refuse to return copies of Fast and Furious 2 in a reasonable time.

2. Blockbuster online is better than Netflix "

Each Blockbuster Online Mailer is considered good for one free rental store. It is a very good deal, no doubt, but the problem is that it is a principle purely temporary, while Blockbuster Online monthly fee is now almost on par with Netflix, will not stay for long.

Blockbuster Online has been developed exclusively Idea to steal rental Netflix online and drive them out of the company, as such, if / when Netflix is bankrupt by art scam Blockbuster Online Blockbuster Online Bauman-esque increased its prices significantly, and probably get rid of all "in-store rent-free" thing. Through a combination of non-payment charges behind Blockbuster and online rentals for free, the company is losing money BB – Once your main source of competition is gone, they will do everything you need to get that cash.

1. "Yes, it's a very good movie"

If only There is one thing you should know about Blockbuster is the following: the movie you are renting, or film that has been suggested you by an overweight woman employee has had two husbands, sons and half a dozen miscarriages, it is not good.

The blame for this are not fully each employee or customer, but also exerts pressure on both sides.

As mentioned above, employees of Blockbuster, the more we know almost nothing about movies. Therefore, their recommendations will be the best unnecessary and at worst: with the new version has the best coverage is probably one immediately recommended by the chief department.

On the other hand, the vast majority of those present at the shelves of Blockbuster Video are drooling, open-mouthed idiots who do not eat the real love movies, any desire to deepen the profound questions about life and the opportunity not to enjoy something that would require the least effort. In a sense, I can understand this: these people have worked hard during their working day – why should not be allowed to relax and escape for a harmless Hollywood entertainment?

The problem arises in that they see. Relaxation and escape, yes, but at least make some fucking standards. If you are looking for a comedy Phat Girlz no rent. If you want drama, do not get anything with Ben Affleck. And for God's sake, not to praise something just because it is new.

I literally, I can not say how many people come to Blockbuster every day, just so they can rent new releases. N not because they are interested in them. Not because they look good. Just because they are new.

And spend your time and money on dreck like Behind Enemy Lines II and The Break Up, these people refuse to literally everything

"It's been done before 1995

"Just another country even the English language

"It may be mentally or emotionally disruptive

-A subtitles

It's voiceover (I'm talking literally a client who does not like any movie with a voiceover: bitch is like saying they do not like films with a number in the title)

Of course, always There are very few customers who really want something different, but are extremely rare. And when present, most employees are already burned Blockbuster: my first months on the job, I have tried to develop a vocabulary of film people through exposure to unusual price as Oldboy, The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance, brick, so away, but my efforts were in vain. The things we recommend customers were immediately returned to the platform once it left his field of vision, or view on a whim, and constantly complains ("pedophile in Hard Candy stuff was so great I had to turn it off after ten minutes.") It is literally the point that as an employee, you do not want to share good movies with customers because, in the words of one of my former colleagues "undeserving."

This attitude snowballs general hatred of all Blockbuster customers and consumers around and then all of humanity in general.

Long story short, I was fired from Blockbuster for calling a customer a "cunt."

She was fully acted upon, however.

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